Oct-sober Recovery Podcast

Episode 12- My friend Chris joins the show

We start our conversation and Chris mentions her 10th year anniversary is coming up....big stuff!!! We talk about our drinking habits around our families and how at times they were happy to see us leave the house and go away.
Something I identify with is when Chris says at the end she had no pleasure dinking whatsoever.
We talk about the backwards practice (although the medically proper way to do it) of having a person who is about to enter a detox to not stop drinking beforehand.
Unreasonable fears of the world were modeled and present in her life as a young girl and they stayed with her.
We touch on the death of people today reported as “accidental or sudden” and we both agree that when a family reports these deaths as overdose that is so courageous and helpful to others who may feel ashamed to report it this way.
Changing sponsors comes up and we chat about this....
Chris started to do some work on herself and was paying close attention to the program. Her sponsor told her “patience and tolerance...and then acceptance” ....this is GOLD!!!!
This is Chris’s Story.....

The Steps are your ticket to Freedom. Jan joins the show for Ep. 11

If you’re fortunate to have Jan as part of your recovery fellowship then you should be extremely grateful. Jan has helped many women and men including my sponsor. She says a good sponsor is someone who is not your pal. Someone who knows what they’re doing but not a control freak.We start our conversation with the topic of sponsorship. 

She was attracted to one of her sponsors when he said things like “I was restless, irritable and discontent- Sober. I was a prey to misery and depression- Sober. I had a feeling of uselessness- Sober. I couldn’t control my emotional nature- Sober.” 

Jan talks about her trip to rehab at Seminole Point and how she loves the term “allergy”....One was never enough, and an ocean was never enough. 

She says if insurance companies are spending millions of dollars to pay for an allergy, then this was the simplicity she needed to understand and realize that this wasn’t her fault. She has an allergy to the booze. 

We talk about inventory and Jan pulls this one out- “a solitary self-appraisal is insufficient “. In other words, you need to do this work with a friend, mentor, sponsor. “You need a guide. You need a light and someone who knows the way.”  I love that quote from Jan. 

She mentions self seeking and explains very well how she understands that term. 

On the topic of drugs for pain, Jan shares what her sponsor Mary taught her : “ Drugs make sick people well and well people sick.”

 On self inventory Jan says : “I was beating myself up NOT doing inventory “

 

“The Steps are your ticket to freedom” -Jan

 

This is Jans Story ....enjoy

 

John Green Tomato

SUICIDE BY ALCOHOL 

We tear into this episode immediately talking about the cunning, baffling disease of alcoholism/addiction. 

Walking to school when he was a kid, John would walk by bar rooms that were serving 3rd shift factory workers, and he remembers liking the smell...

John worked in the bartending industry as a young adult and headed down a road to using drugs. 

He got busted and said he was relieved because he didn’t want  to live that way any longer.  

John shares a near death experience (NDE) that is mind-boggling. 

We laugh when we talk about our first meetings and the feelings we have...”I hope someone talks to me but I hope nobody talks to me”

Being in the middle so we don’t get picked off is a good place to be. He believes talking on the phone is better for him than texting because the person on the other end of the phone can read him better which could make a difference. We spend some quality time talking about sponsorship and I think a newcomer will get a ton out of our conversation. 

This is Ep.10  John Green Tomato. Enjoy !

My friend Coryn Ep 9

So Coryn and I have known each other for about 3 minutes of our lives and we sit down to have a trusting, meaningful conversation about life in recovery and it’s AWESOME!! 

 

Ego is not your Amigo! 

Coryn says she walks through life now with grace and dignity...sounds like values EVERY father hopes for his daughter to possess. I know that’s an image I have in my mind for my daughter. 

Coryn lights up when she speaks about her brother Bryan...this dude seems like an awesome brother and I can tell how much she cares for him. She’s quite frank in saying  that service work helps her to stay alive...AMEN! 

We both agree that Small groups are very important and meaningful to us. She says she is an alcoholic because she has an allergy to booze and she can’t take one sip of alcohol in safety...she TRULY BELIEVES THIS!! 

We talk about our experience with drugs and being an addict and what it looks like for her.  Drugs are a part of both of our stories and hopefully someone out there can be helped by listening to the honest conversation we have about drugs during this podcast episode. 

Coryn gracefully shares her story and she is really great at communicating. It’s truly a JOY to spend time with her. 

This is her story....enjoy !

-

-

-

Play until the Very End for a couple out takes from the recording 😜 

.

My good friend Mark E. stops by for Ep. 8

From the outset, the conversation rips right into the topic of anniversary’s because I wanted to tell everybody how good I am at remembering people’s sobriety dates 😜
Mark shares some of his story and talks about his “weird”relationship with alcohol even before he started drinking
I love Marks illustration about when he gets in trouble , he reaches for the thing that is closest to support him and all the things that he reached for before he got sober were the things that would kill him. Now that he’s sober , he keeps his 12 step program and the fellowship within reach...as close to him as possible 🙏

So college happened an a career started where drinking was popular and frequent. When Mark started to travel for work, this was when the drinking really took off.
Paint thinner in the Folgers coffee can....extremely imaginative.

“Righteous anger is a luxury the alcoholic can not afford”

We talk about many topics including sponsorship, getting to know people as a newcomer sober friends and small groups.
Our families come up in conversation and of course it goes without saying (why am I saying it then) we are both so very grateful to still have our families in our lives.

Tightrope walker with a wheelbarrow. My friend, young Steve, Ep.7

Steve and I met in a twelve step program and I really like how Steve nails it to start when he says everybody does this a little different and it’s ok. This is his story and opinion.
He grew up in a family where alcoholics and alcohol was prevalent.  Steve says alcohol isn’t  his problem but it’s the disease of alcoholism that is the problem and the pit in the stomach that comes along with the disease which needs to be filled. He says he never had a social drink in his life....same!!
He found cocaine at the age of 18 and says this sped up the progression and brought him to his knees much quicker.
If it had to do with intellect or love, Steve says he would have gotten sober a long time ago. But it’s not about those things, It’s about the allergy to alcohol that we have.

Substituting other drugs in an attempt to get “sober” didn’t work   
He found a twelve step program for the first time when he was 21 years old. He kept coming but didn’t take any other suggestions and life got worse for him with stops in jails and institutions along his journey.
Finally out of love for Steve, his parents filed  a Section 35 as a result of him not being harmful to himself and others.
Ultimately Steve encountered his sponsor who told Steve to just try to go one day without a drug and if he changed his mind the drugs would still be around to find.
Steve started to get honest and take suggestions along with working the steps of sobriety. He started to get better.

Special guest Tim joins the show!!!!

Tim joins me to talk about Recovery. His take on sponsorship, as we approach the final minutes of the podcast, is quite wise and insightful. However, at the outset he expresses how growing up the youngest of 4 kids affected him. I really like Tim's perspective on difficult stories of the past and how he finds humor in problematic situations. He talks about "the big3" which were the lies he told himself so he could continue drinking, like he had to, until he hit bottom.

We discuss how, ultimately, Tim was able to stop drinking alcohol. He defines what Recovery means to him. We chat about asking for help and the way he looks at situations that can cause potential problems. Further discussion includes things like **Slip or Relapse?  **Moments when alcohol is calling the shots (even when we haven't taken a drink)  **Not being unique   **SPONSORSHIP

Class of '72 Steve D.

Steve starts his story with his first stay in a “nut-house”, his rocky relationship with  his father and his first drink of champagne.

Steve went to his first AA meeting in 1958 at the age of 20.

He had many stays in mental institutions and rehab facilities and has distinct memories of Beech Hill in Dublin NH and Dropkick Murphys at Bellows Farm.

 

http://alcoholicoutsiderartist.blogspot.com/2014/08/early-treatment-center-dropkick-murphys.html?m=1

 

 

He talks about having his liscense taken away and being labeled “an improper person” and shortly after that he addresses the first time he asked for help.

A good point is brought up regarding a person trying to get sober and the environment in which they are living and who they are surrounded by.

 

Surrender- Steve believes there are two parts to this...admit and accept.

 

He carries an elevator key to the locked ward of the "nut house" that he stayed at, and a teaspoon from the Department of Mental Health,  as a reminder of where he came from!!!

 

We touch on the twelve steps and mention Bill and Dr. Bob, at which point Steve shares a historical story about hearing one of the original 100 members of AA speak. His name was Clarence S.  Dr. Bob was Clarences’ sponsor.....

 

Temporary sponsorship? Find out what Steve has to say about that.

Also, commentary regarding medication as prescribed by a doctor and discussion of medications at AA meetings.

 

We end the interview with Steve giving some stats on how the types of meetings have changed over the years and that their tends to be more discussion meetings rather than speaker. Lastly, Steve shares his thoughts on what may be appropriate to say to a person who is drinking in a meeting...

 

Make sure to listen to the VERY end for a funny out take ;)

Chris joins the show for Episode 5 !

Hold on to your hat ‘cause we are about to be rocketed into a spiritual conversation  that goes from 0-60 almost instantaneously. Our conversation starts with Chris telling us about his sobriety journey which started in 2007. We chat about his upbringing, being one of 6 children and rough family times. The feeling of “being less than” occurred very early in life (Go Bots!!). Chris shares an intense hotel story that totally blows me away!!!!
Our conversation settles in on spiritual observation and questioning. God as a concept doesn’t work for him. God needs to be a subject of experience not the object of belief!I love Chris’s perspective on what we are built for as human beings! I’m super attracted to Chris’s honesty and the way the truth allows him to live a sober life...not to mention his tireless service work but I will.  

 

P.S. Bear with me as I continue to iron out the wrinkles with the sound quality. Volume levels, mic bumps and background noises are on course to improve with each episode.

Progress not perfection!

A.J. 

Exclusive Interview with AJ's mentor, friend and sponsor Gary!

AJ welcomes his mentor, sponsor and very dear friend Gary to the show. Gary shares his experience in recovery as well as  his experience being a dad. He also shares some of the things he is doing to continue living a sober life, such as making anniversary candles and firing himself as General Manager of his life !

The conversation includes subject matter regarding sponsorship, fellowship and friendship. They talk about  mistakenly taking a sip of alcohol, drinking "non-alcoholic beer",,being a power of example,,life balance between home-work-recovery,,,prayer & meditation  and "time traveling".

It is a privilege to have Gary on my podcast. He is such a huge part of my recovery and I will forever be grateful for him and his fellowship.